To Laugh at Yourself, is to Love Yourself

Apparently. 

I have been way down in the dumps this week. And super lethargic and lacking in any type of 'oomph'. 

I haven't got out of bed. I've slept all day. And when I have managed to roll myself out of bed it's been to eat, or cry in a different position. 

I think it's because on Tuesday I had a tiny bit of a freak out where I hadn't felt Bump kick me for a couple of days. And being a newbie to all this and not sure of correct procedure I went to the doctors. 

Apparently this is wrong. ALWAYS go to the midwife. And if the midwife isn't there. Go to triage. 

Doctors are fab and all - but they are not midwives. And babies are not their remit. 

I found this out in an alarming appointment where my doctor told me that she could neither feel the baby or was sure of what she was feeling for. And then tried to listen for a heartbeat with a doppler probe used on diabetic patients feet (if you have never seen one of these, they look like a pen. Not cool to have shoved in your tummy) which of course meant she couldn't hear a heartbeat.

So off she sent me to the hospital, feeling completely freaked out and scared that if a doctor couldn't feel my baby then where had it gone!? 

However, arriving at triage could not have been more different. I was still on my own at this point because BNF was at work (at this point trying to hitch a lift over to the hospital) and the midwife was calm and reassuring and put me on the bed on a monitor and gave me some ice cold water to drink to try and 'wake the baby up'. This did actually work and I stayed on the monitor and it showed a strong healthy heartbeat and I'd felt something like 7 kicks in 30 mins - which is totally healthy and fine. She also explained that the babies head was super engaged and he was most probably lying on his back which is why I couldn't feel him kicking like I had been used to.

By this point BNF had arrived, given me a big cuddle and then proceeded to play around with everything in the room, including the buttons on the bed - causing me to drop to the floor and swear a lot. Which he found hilarious. Honestly, he might not make it through delivery day. 

So. After all that excitement I went home to bed - at around 7pm. And like I said, I haven't really left the bed since. 

Until today. 

I didn't sleep at all last night, and my hips had been in so much pain. Then I remembered that Mrs Wobbly had brought over an old hot water bottle. 

So I went and filled it up - actually being a little bit too happy considering it's just a hot water bottle - and went back to sleep with it on my hip. Which must have felt amazing and cause me to drift back into a really heavy sleep. 

Because the next thing I know, I've woken up absolutely soaked from the waist down. 

I swear to God. I actually thought I was in labour. 

I have NEVER moved so quickly in my life. 

It must have taken me a good 10 / 15 minutes to come round and realise that the hot water bottle had leaked - and when that clicked I just sat there and laughed. Then realising I was sitting in an empty house laughing to myself, I laughed some more.

I can't explain it but I feel a lot better for that moment of stupidity and light heartedness and I don't feel tired or lethargic - or like I'm in the first stage of labour.

So to recap things I've learnt this week: 

• If you ever have any scares during your labour, always call triage. That's what they are there for and they honestly won't mind if you call them every day (this is what they say anyway) 
• If you are down in the dumps, do something really stupid. Or watch a film that you know makes you laugh. Or any of the things I said in the Baby Blues post below.
• Most importantly, always throw away old hot water bottles if you know they leak, to avoid confusion with amniotic fluid loss...

On recoiling that tale to BNF on the phone just now all I got was "But is the mattress alright?" I'm seriously considering not letting him in the delivery room you know... 

Mx

Hips Don't Lie

But they do hurt. 

ALOT. 

Shakira, bringing the pregnancy glam.

This particular Pregnancy Pro has only just hit this weekend. And it's hit me hard. I was lying on the bed, pinning away quite merrily (trying to find neutral decor ideas for sharing a bedroom with a boy, it's actually way hard to make things look pretty AND masculine!?) and when I went to get up... I couldn't. The very bottom of my back was just locked. It hurt to try and roll over. It hurt to try and sit up. And then it hurt just to lie there. I felt like a little beached whale. And everyone else was asleep, so I was an abandoned, helpless beached whale. 

Ok I may have over dramatised that slightly. 

But only the abandoned, helpless, endangered mammal part. 

The pain was totally dramatic. 

And then in the morning I woke up and it felt like I had a dead hip. So I turned over (because this particular morning I was DETERMINED to have a lie in. And within 5 minutes the other hip felt dead. So, completely disregarding the beached whale situ 12 hours earlier - I tried laying on my back. Bump too heavy. Back ache. So I kinda just kept turning myself over until eventually I got up. 

But the hips still really hurt for a couple of hours. So I checked in with NHS online to see whether this is cosha (Being a completely naive first time mum I often have to check NHS or BabyCentre for reassurance that I'm not dying** - this is fine, and they usually placate me and I go happily back to my everyday potterings. However, I will say DO NOT go on to forums for reassurance. Because although they can be very helpful places to find people who may well be going through similiar symptoms, they can also be places full of complete scaremongery and ladies who may unfortunately be having some really rare difficulties - which you should not read because a) you will be scared of everything and b) you will just worry that every little symptom is the end of the world and who really had time for that?!) **This overly dramatic thing is a new phase I'm going through right now. I'm sure it'll totally pass. 

Anyway - NHS said yeahhhh it's completely normal and to ease hip pain it's helpful to lie on your side. 

Lie on your side. 

You know, where your really painful hips are. 

THANKSSSSSS!

And actually as it turns out, it made me realise that 'Lie on your side' is pretty much the ONLY 'remedy' for anything achey that you get given. 

My back aches. 
Lie on your side. 
(The bump is too heavy and squishes your organs) 

My chest is tight and I can't breath easy. 
Lie on your side. 
(Apparently there's some vein or something that the bump squishes lying on your back) 

I feel light headed and a bit dizzy. 
Lie on your side. 
(Big vein thingy again) 

I'm having trouble sleeping. 
Like on your side. 
(Actually, I'm lucky enough to have a big pregnancy pillow and this does really work & make lying on your side pretty bearable. BNF brought it for me and I think he got it for a good price on Amazon. But apparently you can put normal pillows around you and between your legs and it helps too?)

My hips still hurt. But I'm coming round to accepting this as a given. Although I will say - kneeling on all fours for 5 minutes gives momentary relief. And I have read a couple of times that swimming, or just being in a pool is supposed to really help with aches and pains as it takes the weight off. So I'm going to give that a go too once we're all moved in.

Until then I shall do my best to channel Shakira glam... *snuggles on sofa and stuffs another fig roll in face*

Mx