To Laugh at Yourself, is to Love Yourself

Apparently. 

I have been way down in the dumps this week. And super lethargic and lacking in any type of 'oomph'. 

I haven't got out of bed. I've slept all day. And when I have managed to roll myself out of bed it's been to eat, or cry in a different position. 

I think it's because on Tuesday I had a tiny bit of a freak out where I hadn't felt Bump kick me for a couple of days. And being a newbie to all this and not sure of correct procedure I went to the doctors. 

Apparently this is wrong. ALWAYS go to the midwife. And if the midwife isn't there. Go to triage. 

Doctors are fab and all - but they are not midwives. And babies are not their remit. 

I found this out in an alarming appointment where my doctor told me that she could neither feel the baby or was sure of what she was feeling for. And then tried to listen for a heartbeat with a doppler probe used on diabetic patients feet (if you have never seen one of these, they look like a pen. Not cool to have shoved in your tummy) which of course meant she couldn't hear a heartbeat.

So off she sent me to the hospital, feeling completely freaked out and scared that if a doctor couldn't feel my baby then where had it gone!? 

However, arriving at triage could not have been more different. I was still on my own at this point because BNF was at work (at this point trying to hitch a lift over to the hospital) and the midwife was calm and reassuring and put me on the bed on a monitor and gave me some ice cold water to drink to try and 'wake the baby up'. This did actually work and I stayed on the monitor and it showed a strong healthy heartbeat and I'd felt something like 7 kicks in 30 mins - which is totally healthy and fine. She also explained that the babies head was super engaged and he was most probably lying on his back which is why I couldn't feel him kicking like I had been used to.

By this point BNF had arrived, given me a big cuddle and then proceeded to play around with everything in the room, including the buttons on the bed - causing me to drop to the floor and swear a lot. Which he found hilarious. Honestly, he might not make it through delivery day. 

So. After all that excitement I went home to bed - at around 7pm. And like I said, I haven't really left the bed since. 

Until today. 

I didn't sleep at all last night, and my hips had been in so much pain. Then I remembered that Mrs Wobbly had brought over an old hot water bottle. 

So I went and filled it up - actually being a little bit too happy considering it's just a hot water bottle - and went back to sleep with it on my hip. Which must have felt amazing and cause me to drift back into a really heavy sleep. 

Because the next thing I know, I've woken up absolutely soaked from the waist down. 

I swear to God. I actually thought I was in labour. 

I have NEVER moved so quickly in my life. 

It must have taken me a good 10 / 15 minutes to come round and realise that the hot water bottle had leaked - and when that clicked I just sat there and laughed. Then realising I was sitting in an empty house laughing to myself, I laughed some more.

I can't explain it but I feel a lot better for that moment of stupidity and light heartedness and I don't feel tired or lethargic - or like I'm in the first stage of labour.

So to recap things I've learnt this week: 

• If you ever have any scares during your labour, always call triage. That's what they are there for and they honestly won't mind if you call them every day (this is what they say anyway) 
• If you are down in the dumps, do something really stupid. Or watch a film that you know makes you laugh. Or any of the things I said in the Baby Blues post below.
• Most importantly, always throw away old hot water bottles if you know they leak, to avoid confusion with amniotic fluid loss...

On recoiling that tale to BNF on the phone just now all I got was "But is the mattress alright?" I'm seriously considering not letting him in the delivery room you know... 

Mx