Fridays Fab Five!

Hello there you beautiful bunnies!! 

Hope y'all are ok and enjoying this wonderful, wonderful Indian Summer - oh no wait, it must be monsoon season!! 

All it has done here today it rain rain rain. Bleurgh. 

Anyhoo. This kind of weather inevitably means that we spend lots more time indoors, avoiding the elements. 

So I thought for this weeks Fab Five I would talk about some of the things you can do to keep occupied when the seasons are on the change. And then I discovered a big fat tonne of really really cool ideas.

 And I couldn't possibly pick just 5 favourites and condense them. So this "list" has turned into a List of Lists!!! 

A compilation of some of my favourite 'go-to' blogs for inspiration. 

Hope you enjoy reading as much as I do :) 

Leave a comment and let me know what your favourite idea is :) 

What You Make It : 50 More Things To Do Together - This is actually a follow on post (link to the original at the start) so it's actually 100 things to do together - bonus for you! 

My Tunbridge Wells : General Activities  - This is one of my top top favourite blogs. I literally check what's coming up every weekend so I can coerce BNF into maybe taking us out for an Activity Day! Although not always avoiding the elements - a really good reference point for any parents in Tunbridge Wells or the surrounding areas! 

The Dating Divas : 65 Fabulous Winter Dates  - Some fun ideas if you have some time alone & you're wanting to spend some more time with your significant other but not wanting to ruin your blow dry. 

The SAHM Survival Guide : Activities for Infants  - You really wanna go to Sensory Explorers but you don't wanna battle with the push chair weather shield? This has some really good ideas! 

The Imagination Tree : Autumn Play Collection  - Has some really good seasonal sensory ideas! 

Enjoy! 

Mx 

I'm Alive!

Well, after this second cup of tea I will be. 

Bonjour babes!! 

I'm terribly sorry for the abandonment - it's been hella busy. I've been learning lots, doing lots, laughing lots, crying lots. And then I saw the lovely You Baby Me Mummy on Twitter has a #linkup called 'The List' ! And I thought - ah! What a super fab way to condense the last 3 (ish) months?! 

So - this is my first ever attempt at a linky uppy thing (I just watch them and read them all on Twitter quietly) so be gently & bear with me! 

This is my hugely condensed list: 

• I went back to work full time.

• Our Landlord served us notice on our beautiful little home - major sad times.

• BNF got a new job - woohoo! 

• BNF had to do a bajillion weeks training for his new job (like, 7 weeks) 

• We found another beautiful little home - with a garden!! And  parking RIGHT out the front. Ah-mazing. 

• Bubba has turned into a vampire with lots of teeth - seriously not cute to have him nibble on your hands anymore. Sharpest fangs ever! 

• I quit my job. 

• I started a new adventure Rachel Jane

• Our super fab (strong & patient) friends and family helped us moved all our crap between beautiful little homes.

• We had Bubba baptised (FAB day - remind me to do a post on this with pics) 

• We all calmed down.

That is kinda the best snapshot I can give you of my little whirlwind time. And I'm even sure that I've forgotten / suppressed loads. But the main thing is that it has seemingly calmed down back to just 'manic' mode now instead of 'super duper omg how is this even happening manic' mode. Which is nice :) 

But I do hope you've all been keeping well & I look forward to sharing more of my ramblings with you on a more regular basis :) 

Ciao bellas. 

Mx 

Now. I'm going to follow the instructions EXACTLY as per You Baby Me Mummy and just hope & pray the technology spirits are on my level today. Mwah! Xx

Pregnancy Chakra

Exactly one year ago today I found out I was pregnant. 

I was 9 weeks along already, and I had no idea. 

I only did a test as a process of elimination! 

My baby were in so much pain - I thought I had breast cancer. 

I was tired and sleeping all the time - I thought I had chronic fatigue syndrome. 

For real!! 

I even read an entire lesson on balancing your chakras and spent hours in my bedroom trying to balance myself because I thought it would help the pains in my tummy. 

I was trying to do the Bikini Series and I couldn't figure out why I was still so bloated when I was eating so well. 

I don't know how we didn't know. I remember one day I flat out refused to get outta bed and then it was 2:30pm in the afternoon and BNF's mum was requesting that we left the house, and I only agreed on the basis that he took me to McDonalds and brought me chicken nuggets. 

Seriously, we didn't know. 

So I figured I couldn't just rock up at the doctors and tell the I had chronic fatigue. They'd ask me all these questions about what else it could be. And I'd had some tummy cramps but no end product in that regard so, one Monday lunchtime, while I was picking up my lunch I thought I'd just chuck in a test and see what happened. 

Absolutely convinced that it would say negative, I took it in the bathroom at work at about 4:30pm. 

It said positive. 

I swear I nearly jumped out of the bathroom without pulling up my pants. 

I did NOT know what to do. 

I ran out into the car park, rang the doctors and demanded to the lady on reception that I needed an emergency appointment. 

"Whats the nature of the emergency please?" 

"I JUST TOOK A PREGNANCY TEST AND IT SAID POSITIVE AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING WITH MY LIFE!!!!"

"I have one at 5:10" 

And that was it I just went back upstairs grabbed my bag and left. I didn't tell anyone, I didn't turn off my computer. I just left. And thank goodness, as I turned out of my work car park a police car was just behind me, otherwise I think I would've driven like an absolute lunatic. 

So I turned up at the doctors, burst into tears on my doctors - who is a very formal, chinese man, who now questions my mental stability I'm sure. And he said he wouldn't see me until I had been home, eaten something ad spoken to someone in my family. 

Which, in hindsight was very sensible. So we agreed that I would come back on the Wednesday. 

I then went home (I was still living with my parents at this time) and burst into tears on Mrs Wobbly in the kitchen while she was trying to make tea for everyone. 

She then said I needed to talk to BNF. Which again, was sensible. And reassured me that my family would love me and support me no matter what. 

So on Tuesday, I had to go for a meal for his mum - I don't remember why, I think she was going into an operation or something, all I remember is it was the LONGEST meal of my life! And then afterwards we both went back and sat on the sofa and I burst into tears on BNF.  And he reassured me that he would love and support me no matter what and that I was not to make any decision based on his age. (BNF is 4 years younger than me). 

I cried ALOT this week. 

At this point I was absolutely convinced that I could not have a baby. I thought my parents would be cross. I thought BNF would break up with me. We didn't have any money. We both still lived at home. I just could not imagine any other situation. 

So when I went back to the Doctor on Wednesday I said to him that I had absolutely no idea what to do and that it would depend on how far along I was. He, being the formal, chinese man that he is, did not understand this at all. He said you either want it or you don't. Like it's really that clear cut. 

So he sent me along to the abortion clinic to have a scan to see how far along I was. 

So on the Thursday I went along there on my own. I tell you, that it the most efficient place I have ever been to. I arrived at 9:00 for my appointment at 9:30 and they just took me straight in. It's the most horrible place to go to on your own and I would say, looking back, if you do ever go to one of the places, take someone with you. You need it. So the lady said, yup your 9 weeks so if you do want to terminate you are too late to take the pill and would have to have a surgical procedure. 

Now - going back a bit here. I went to a Catholic school and they showed us the MOST horrendous video about the surgical procedure. I understand that they have to do this to literally out the fear of God into you. But my goodness does it work!!! 

And then, I went home and googled what a baby looks like at 9 weeks. And it looks like a baby. Like, a weird tadpole-isn baby. But it is formed. And it had a spine. And it has a heartbeat. 

And that was it. I was not letting anything touch that little pod and it was not coming outta me until it was cooked. It was mine to look after and that was what I would do. 

So then on Friday (seriously, this was like a REALLY messed up Craig David song) I saw BNF again and I told him that I had come to a decision that I was going to keep the baby. 

This was when he had his breakdown. And oh man did he go to town. 

He told me I was going to be a pikey mum, along with a whole load of other things. And then sat on my kitchen floor and cried down the phone to his mum. Who by all accounts was crying back. 

We had a lot of tears that week. 

Then he drove to my darlings Samanthas house because he needed to see her boyfriend Mike. Apparently they were convinced I'd broken up with him. I don't think anyone was ready for a baby. 

But he came back around, after he'd had his moment. And we were ok again. 

Then at the weekend, he had the audacity to tell me that I should stay home and he should go out with the boys because "he's had a tough week". I'm not going to tell you how the rest of that conversation went because I would have to censor ALOT. 

But once we'd made out decision we had a lot of planning and prepping to do. We needed to move out, we needed to get all the stuff for the baby, we needed to sell my fiat 500 and his civic type R and get a "sensible" car... 

And it was the toughest, most challenging year of my life. 

We had friends that didn't fully understand the concept of us not being in the pub every week anymore. I was talked about being "psycho" because people thought I was stopping BNF going out. Nobody understood how drastically our lives were changing. And it was tough. I don't even think WE understood how drastically our lives were changing. Throw into that BNF & I nearly broke up in the middle of the summer. And I thought I was going to have to face the whole thing alone. It was hands down the most difficult time. 

But it all came together. 

I don't know how exactly. But, magically, it did! 

And now we have our own little space, our family car, our beautiful Bubba and the friends that have got their head around the new life are an amazing network, and we are so blessed to have such a big supportive, loving, generous family. 

And it's like everything I was petrified about this time last year, has all come good. And it's not scary anymore. It's amazing. And I couldn't imagine my life any other way now. 

I have always believed that the universe knows what it's doing, and that everything happens for a reason. 

Sometimes when it comes about you think it's a massive curve ball, but follow it through and have faith and it might just become the best thing in your life. 

Mx 

Fastest Cake in the World?

Scone. 

Haha. Aaah I major heart bad jokes. 

Of course if you're the kind of person who pronounces scone like stone then it kinda doesn't work. Ya gotta work with me here people.

 

Anyhoo. 

I promised my darling Samantha that I would do a post dedicated to our Bank Holiday shenanigans. 

This is not that post. 

My brain is conflicted. Half of it is like HOW IS IT FRIDAY ALREADY?! THIS IS THE FASTEST WEEK IN THE WORLD!! (Not cake, week.) 

And the other half is like OMGGGGGGG FRIDAY WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN BABY?! (You have to say that in the voice of Cookie from Empire. Otherwise you're not gettin it.) 

So. I'm not fully sure how I feel about this week. But I am definitely sure that it IS Friday. 

Which means Fridays Fab Five. 

This is that post. 

And maybe some more brain rumbles. 

But not the Bank Holiday Bonanza. 

That's still to come. 

Ok lets start with this weeks five alive: 

1. We have a bed!!!! No more sleeping on a mattress on the floor, rocking 'squatter chic'. And it is gooooorrrrrrgeous. It's like a Princess bed. And it's high. And it's lovely. And I love it. I'm not sure how BNF feels about the Princess-ness. But I think he secretly loves it. 

2. I have had the most wonderful evening. Well. Kinda. BNF had to unclog the shower and I had to clean Bubs' neck. Honestly, I don't know who had the grosser job. But after that I had a big bubbly bath by candlelight. Yes, I had a pile of Bub's toys next to me. No, I'm not entirely sure he didn't pee in the bath before I got to it. But hey, you gotta take what you got people. It was nice. And now I'm sitting with a cup of tea watching BNF play FIFA. All is lovely. 

3. Bubs has started on his baby rice :) it is so adorable to see him sitting in his Bumbo or his high chair. He actually makes my heart melt. 

4. I got to make my darling Miss Kitty dinner on Tuesday night. She never lets me cook for her. She's always like ooh noo I've got dinner at home. But not this time! And it was gluten free especially for her. She deserves it though she's the bestest. Ok enough gross talk. 

5. We got to Vote! And BNF and I took a lovely long walk to the Polling Station with bubs and it was just all very lovely :) I love the smell of the Village Halls. Is that weird? Potentially. But it reminds me of like Sunday School and Brownies and all the fun times. I love it I don't care if it's weird.

Now, my tea is getting cold and BNF is getting increasingly stressed at FIFA so I'm about to pull the plug and restore calm...

Ciao bellas, enjoy the weekend!

Mx

Fridays Fab Five!

I'm bringing back the Fab Five. 

It's nice to recognise all the lovely things that happen in a week and not get flat about the bad things.

Mrs Wobbly always says "Ignore the bad, praise the good." And it used to really annoy me, but you know I think the old girl might be on to something ;)

So here we go! 

1. This week I am thankful for the fact that Bubba is all well and healthy. He turned 4 months yesterday, had his last set of immunisations until he reaches 1 and weighed in at 15lb 9oz!! All going well and loving it. I go back to work this month (!!) so I'm looking forward to making the most of my last stretch of maternity leave.

2. I am excited for the Bank Holiday weekend. Our best friends brought us tickets to see Matilda the musical for our birthdays and I am soooo excited for a lovely day in London all together. 

3. I got to spend an entire hour with my sister this week. This just doesn't happen. I don't think I've seen her for that long since Christmas! So I enjoyed that time we spent together. 

4. The Tone It Up community and the Bikini Series has got me all hyped up and happy! The support that all the girls, from all around the world show each other is really inspiring and makes me smile every time I open IG. And the workouts and the losing inches!? Yeah that makes me smile quite a bit too :) 

5. Right now at this very moment in time, I am beyond grateful for caffeine. I have been awake since 4am and my head kinda feels like it might explode at any moment BUT we have big mugs of tea and Bubba is due to wake up any moment so I'll have cuddles too :)


Enjoy your long weekend all!

Mx

Yummy or Mummy?

 

No no, not that kind. 



More like this: 

 

Oh God bless Mrs Beckham. 

Being a mum is tough! Like, as if the daily grind of actually looking after your child isn't enough. It's like everyone expects you to just spring back into real life non-elasticated jeans. I don't think I've worn any non-elasticated clothes for nigh on a year! 

So thats a big adjustment. 

Sometimes I feel really good about myself because I've managed to find an entire outfit that doesn't have sick on it and brush my hair and maybe slick a bit of tinted moisturiser on and get into town - in one piece. Woah mama those days I feel like a million dollars! 

And then I get to town. And there are women in skinny jeans, wearing heels, pushing their prams with perfectly blow dried hair and a full face of glowing radiant make up. 

And I'm like, HOW?!?! 

Where do you put your child while you're blow drying your hair?! 

And you do, even though it's stupid, you do feel kinda crappy about yourself for a few minutes. Or I feel like, hmm maybe I'm not doing so well because I don't look like those women. 

That is stupid. 

I am aware of this. 

But everyone has moments. 

To be honest, I have only been blessed with these baby cuddles for 16 weeks. Which is NOTHING considering I carried the heffer for almost 41. 

And if you are a super yummy mummy who has blow dried hair and wears heels - power to you ladies. You have my respect. And awe. But if you're like me and you still feel a little bit tumbled and fuzzy, power to you also because this shit is hard. 

And I don't think babies care about whether you've got your shit together. Or if your hair is blow dried. As long as they can grab it and put in their mouth, you're good with them. 

Keep on keeping on. 

Mx

A Whole New World

Well hello there! 

I hope everyone had a super fabulous time over Christmas and has so far had a great start to 2015 :) 

Apologies for the delay in posting, the last 10 weeks have been an incredibly fun adventure! 

Baby (Boy) Malibu was delivered 4 days past my due date on 30th December 2014, weighing 9lb 1oz and measuring 56cm - a giant in baby terms!! Well, certainly in my baby terms anyway. I had envisaged some cute little 7lb something tiny wriggler. How wrong was I! 

The labour was not entirely how I had envisaged either, and I ended up on the theatre table after 31 hours of going strong. But I did however get to use the birthing pool like I wanted to, and when the time came to make all of the hard decisions to use interventions I feel like I handled the situation calmly and with confidence. This *may* have had more to do with the copious amount of drugs in my system by that time, coupled with the immense amount of pain that I just wanted to stop - but I'm going with calm and confident! haha :) 

It was actually everything that came after the birth that was the hardest. And - strangely enough, nobody really tells you what to expect, or about any of the ensuing carnage *after* the main event. 

I was literally numb from the waist down, and had to wait 12 hours for the drugs to wear off. I remember - vividly - having a room full of visitors the evening after BM was born, and a nurse coming in to announce, rather loudly "Oh my! Look at your catheter! If we don't empty that soon it'll burst!" If I wasn't so dosed up I think I would've died.

Then I had to wait for the feeling to come back into my legs and to attempt to walk again. Only to find out that once upright, sitting back down again was to be the most painful thing since the previous morning. 

Then there's the whole breastfeeding debacle. Now I'm not knocking it, I'm a full patron of the whole 'Breast Is Best' campaign, and I wholeheartedly wanted to breastfeed, but as it happens I couldn't. Cue an army of old school forceful midwives trying to nipple cripple me into submission.(This may be a tiny exaggeration, but this is how it is etched into my memory). Now, after being awake for almost 48 hours at this point, and after being through a very long and painful labour, having someone try and assertively coerce my babs into producing anything for BM to consume is not really something I can say I enjoyed. 

After managing 3 hours sleep, an injection in my butt and some more nipple crippling, I was told that I could go home. BNF took this to mean that we could pack up and go straight away. This was 24 hours after I had given birth and quite frankly I was in shock. He was packing up around me, and I wasn't even dressed. In fact he took my bag to the car before I even had the chance to retrieve my shoes so I left the hospital in my slippers. In December. We were however home in time to ring in New Years Eve - and BM even timed a feed for us to see midnight and have a smooch. Which I will always remember. 

But I was still in shock. And I pretty much stayed that way for ages. For the first 2 week of his life BM had his wide awake spell between midnight and 4am. BNF and I did not know what had hit us! We didn't know how to pacify him, what sent him to sleep, what made him happy, we were all getting to know each other - except he could only communicate with crying, and we were seriously sleep deprived. We tried staying upstairs on the sofa bed, with his moses basket in front of the tele - we have never watched so much news in our lives. And because of the time we were always catching the Australia and Asia business news. Our general knowledge took on a whole new level. Then I was convinced that lullabies would solve the problem. Babies love lullabies right?! So I made a playlist on my iphone and played it the whole night. It didn't work. And BNF was ready to kill me. Apparently nor him or BM love lullabies. I however slept a dream that night! 

I can honestly say it probably took me until 6 weeks before I wanted to leave the house. And do you know what I would say to any new mums - don't leave the house until you want to! Don't be pressured into having visitors or people saying they HAVE to see the baby. Sod it, you will never ever have those insane first weeks again. And yeah you might not be able to sit down comfortably, you might not want to wear any "real clothes", you might not want to wash your hair, you might still just want to sit there and cry for no reason - do all of those things!! And don't give two hoots for everyone else who tries to bully you in to their schedule. And if your other half tells you "hmm I think you need to leave the house now" you tell him you will leave the house whenever you god damn want and not a minute before. You and your body have been through one hell of a mission and you take your time before trying to be friends with the real world again. I do genuinely think I suffered from shock after I gave birth to BM. Everything just happens so quickly and you are just left to get on with it - which you have to because that little bubba needs you. And honestly - he doesn't care if you haven't washed your hair or if you're wearing elasticated trousers, he just wants a big cuddle and probably some food. 

Fast forward 10 weeks (!!!! How it's been 10 weeks already I have no idea!!!) and BM is sleeping through the night for most nights, BNF is back to work and is fully competent in nappy changing, and I am wearing "real clothes" with clean hair and on a good day - even wearing make up!! haha all jokes aside, life bears some resemblance to normality - whatever that is, and life is good. We could not imagine life now without that little tinker and I cannot wait to watch him grow up into a little handsome man. 

Best thing that has ever happened to us. 

Now he is screaming down the monitor at me while BNF is transfixed on the footie so excuse me to my normality... 

Big kisses 

Mx